Becoming a Mentor

Julie Ackerman Link

“I have someone I want you to meet,” said my friend Patty Doren when I stopped by the visitor center at church. “She's looking for a mentor, and I think it should be you.”

“Me? Why me?” I asked. The thought of becoming a mentor scared me. I knew nothing about how to do it. I had never been formally mentored, so I had no example to follow. Jay and I have no children, so I can't teach younger women to be good mothers. I'm not very domestic, so I can't teach homemaking skills. No one would ever point to me as an example of the “Proverbs 31 woman.”

While I was stockpiling excuses, Patty explained, “She's an intern at Zondervan, and she wants to be an editor.”

Oh, well, that alleviated a bit of my fear. I do know something about editing and publishing.

When I met Debbie, I liked her immediately. She knew what she wanted out of the relationship, and she had reasonable expectations. She was serious about her faith and intentional about listening to God and being obedient. I warned her that I wasn't much of a teacher, and that I couldn't offer her anything formal, but that I would be happy to meet with her and talk about life and work and faith. Even after all my disclaimers, she was willing to take the risk.

We began meeting nearly two years ago, and we're still getting together. We started reading and discussing a book about editing, and then we let the discussion flow to all kinds of subjects—theology, church, relationships, family, work, choices, career—whatever was on our hearts and minds.

Last fall when I was planning a trip to Kenya to teach at a publishing conference, Debbie became my mentor. She had lived in Ethiopia for many years and had graduated from a seminary in Kenya, so she coached me on the African culture and on what type of information I could pass along that would transcend cultural differences.

From time to time, Debbie mentioned friends from church who wanted a mentor, but we had no way of matching them with older women. Eventually we came up with an idea—group mentoring. Debbie invited five of her friends, and I invited five of mine (one being Patty Doren), to begin a Bible study. We chose something short—the book of Ruth—so no one would feel trapped, and we began meeting. Our choice of books, like my initial meeting with Debbie, turned out to be providential. Reading it in these new circumstances, I discovered that the book has something to say about mentoring. It tells the story of an imperfect mentor, Naomi, whom God used in spite of her wavering faith. Mentoring, I realized, isn't about being perfect; it's about being honest. And mentoring is not about being old; it's about women of all ages having a relationship with someone younger.

Are you willing to be honest about life's challenges? Do you want to demonstrate how our loving God leads us safely through times of doubt and disappointment as well as certainty and success? Then you are a good candidate for becoming a mentor. Ask God to show you opportunities, and then make sure your eyes are open to see them.